THE ROYAL SCAM
Keyboards: Donald Fagen, Victor Feldman, Paul Griffin, Don Grolnick
Guitars: Walter Becker, Larry Carlton, Dennis Dias
Bass: Walter Becker, Chuck Rainey
Drums: Rick Marotta, Bernard Purdie
Percussion: Gary Coleman, Victor Feldman
Horns: Chuck Findley, Bob Findley, Slyde Hyde, Jim Horn, Plas Johnson, John Klemmer
Back-up Vocals: Donald Fagen, Venetta Fields, Clydie King, Sherlie Matthews, Michael McDonald, Tim Schmidt
Lead Vocals: Donald Fagen
All songs composed by Walter Becker and Donald Fagen ("The Fez" by Becker/Fagen/Griffin). Horns arranged by Chuck Findley, Walter Becker and Donald Fagen.
Engineered by Roger Nichols
Produced by Gary Katz
K I D C H A R L E M A G N E
While the music played you worked by candlelight
Those San Francisco Nights,
You were the best in town.
Just by chance you crossed the diamond with the pearl.
You turned it on the world,
That's when you turned the world around.
Did you feel like Jesus?
Did you realise
That you were a champion in their eyes?
On the hill the stuff was laced with kerosene
But yours was kitchen clean.
Everyone stopped to stare at your technicolor motor home
Every A-Frame had your number on the wall
You must have had it all.
You'd go to LA on dare
And you'd go it alone.
Could you live forever?
Could you see the day,
Could you feel your whole world fall apart and fade away?
Get along, get along Kid Charlemagne,
Get along Kid Charlemagne
Now the patrons have all left you in the red
Your low rent friends are dead
This life can be very strange.
All those dayglow freaks who used to paint the face,
They've joined the human race
Some things will never change.
[Son you were mistaken]
You are obsolete,
Look at all the white men on the street.
[chorus]
Clean this mess up or else we'll all end up in jail.
Those test tubes and the scale,
Just get them all out of here
Is there gas in the car
Yes, there's gas in the car
I think the people down the hall
Know who you are.
Careful what you carry
'cause the man is wise.
You are still an outlaw in their eyes.
[chorus]
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C A V E S O F A L T A M I R A
I recall, when I has small,
How I spent my days alone.
The busy world was not for me
So I went and found my own.
I would climb the garden wall
With a candle in my hand.
I'd hide inside a hall of rock and sand.
On the stone in ancient hand
In a faded yellow-green;
Made alive a worldly wonder
Often told but never seen.
Now and ever bound to labor
On the sea and in the sky.
Every man and beast appeared
A friend as real as I.
Before the fall when they wrote it on the wall
When there wasn't even any Hollywood.
They heard the call
And they wrote it on the wall,
For you and me, we understood.
Can it be this sad design
Could be the very same?
A wooly man without a face
And a beast without a name.
Nothin' here but history.
Can you see what has been done?
Memory rush over me
Now I step into the sun.
[chorus]
[chorus]
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D O N ' T T A K E M E A L I V E
Agents of the law, Luckless Pedestrian,
I know you're out there, with rage in your eyes and your megaphones.
Saying, "All is forgiven. Mad Dog, surrender."
How can I answer?
A man of my mind can do anything.
I'm a bookkeeper's son.
I don't want to shoot no one.
Well I crossed my old man back in Oregon
Don't take me alive.
Got a case of dynamite.
I could hold out here all night.
Yes, I crossed my old man back in Oregon
Don't take me alive.
Can you hear the evil crowd;
the lies and the laughter?
I hear my inside, the mechanized hum of another world.
Where no sun is shining, no red light flashing.
Here in this darkness, I know what I've done.
I know all at once who I am.
[chorus]
[solo]
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S I G N I N S T R A N G E R
Have you heard about the boom on Mizar Five?
People got to shout to stay alive.
They don't even have policeman one.
Doesn't matter where you been or what you've done.
Do you have a dark spot on your past?
Leave it to my man he'll fix it fast.
Pepe has a scar from ear to ear.
He will make your mug shots disappear.
You zombie, be born again my friend.
Won't you sign in stranger?
Do you like to take a yo-yo for a ride?
Zombie, I can see you're qualified.
Walk around collecting Turkish union dues,
They will call you sir and shine your shoes.
Or maybe you would like to see the show?
You'll enjoy the Cafe D'Escargot.
Folks are in a line around the block
Just to see her do the conch-con-Jacques.
You zombie, be born again my friend.
Won't you sign in stranger?
Love or leave her, yellow fever,
Sure it's all in the game.
And who are you?
Just another scurvy brother.
[piano solo]
You zombie, be born again my friend.
Won't you sign in stranger?
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T H E F E Z
No, I'm never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no.
No, I'm never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no.
That's what I am, please understand.
I wanna be your holy man.
No, I'm never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no.
Ain't never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no.
That's what I am, Please understand.
I wanna be your holy man.
[solo]
No, I'm never gonna do it without the fez on, oh no.
Don't make me do it without the fez on, oh no.
That's what I am, please understand.
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G R E E N E A R R I N G S
Calm, daring, no flies on me.
Sorry, angels, I must take what I see.
Green earrings,
I remember
The rings of rare design.
I remember the look in your eyes.
I don't mind.
Greek medallion, sparkles when you smile.
Sorry, angels, I get hungry like a child.
[chorus]
I don't mind.
[solo]
[chorus]
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H A I T I A N D I V O R C E
Babs and Clean Willie were in love they said,
So in love, the preacher's face turned red.
Soon everybody knew the thing was dead.
He shouts, she bites, they wrangle through the night.
Yeahhh.
She go crazy, got to make a getaway.
Papa say,
"Ahhh huh, No hesitation, no tears and no hearts breakin', no remorse.
Uhhh huh, congratulations, this is your Haitian Divorce."
She takes the taxi to the good hotel,
Bon marche, as far as she can tell.
She drinks the zombie from the cocoa shell.
She feels alright, she get it on tonight.
Yeah.
Mister driver, "Take me where the music play."
Papa say,
[chorus]
At the Grotto, in the greasy chair
Sits the Charlie with the lotion and the kinky hair.
When she smiled, she said it all.
The band was hot so
They danced the famous Merango.
Now we dolly back.
Now we fade to black.
[solo]
Tearful reunion in the USA.
Day by day, those memories fade away.
Some babies grow in a peculiar way.
It changed, it grew, and everybody knew.
Yeahhh.
Semi-mojo, who's this kinky so-and-so?
Papa go,
[chorus]
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E V E R Y T H I N G Y O U D I D
Where did the Bastard run, is he still around?
Now you gotta tell me ev'rything you did, Baby.
I'm gonna get a gun, shoot the lover down,
Are you gonna tell me ev'rything you did, Baby?
Traces are everywhere in our happy home.
Now you better tell me everything, you did, Baby.
I jumped out of my easy chair, it was not my own!
Now I want to hear about everything you did, Baby.
I never knew you,
You were a roller skater.
You gonna show me later.
Turn up the Eagles the neighbors are listening.
You know how people talk, I wonder what they say?
I think you better tell me everything you did, Baby.
[solo]
[chorus]
You never came to me, when you were so inclined.
Yes, you could have told me everything you did, Baby.
I know where Baby's at; I know your filthy mind.
Now you're gonna do me everything you did, Baby.
You did, Baby.
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T H E R O Y A L S C A M
And they wandered in from the city
Of St. John without a dime.
Wearing coats that shined both red and green;
Colors from their sunny island.
From their boats of iron they looked upon
The promised land where surely life was sweet.
On the rising tide to New York City
Did they ride into the street.
See the glory,
[See the glory of]
Of the royal scam
They are hounded down to the bottom
Of a bad town amid the ruins,
Where they learn to fear an angry race
Of fallen kings their dark companions.
While the memory of their southern sky
Was clouded by a savage winter.
Every patron saint hung on the wall
Shared the room with twenty sinners.
[chorus]
By the blackened wall he does it all
He thinks he's died and gone to heaven.
Now the tale is told by the old man
Back home; he reads the letter.
How they are paid in gold just to babble
In the back room all night and waste the time.
And they wandered in from the city
Of St. John without a dime.
[chorus]
[chorus]
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Royal Scam
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